Women’s Stories

“I had a vaginal mesh put in and I had problem after problem. I saw TV ads and news briefs on the problems so I went to my doctor.

My doctor told me it wasn’t the right mesh and not to pursue it and there was no way to fix me because the mesh had adhered to my tissue. I found out later it WAS the defective mesh and when I went back and asked for my medical records, I was dropped as a client.

I felt alone. I have been in such severe pain and the doctor and manufacturers companies are supposed to protect us, not leave us for road kill.

When I finally got to talk to the lawyer I felt so much better,

They explained they don’t sue Dr’s and it’s in the contract, and that the manufacturers who sold this knew how bad it was and put it in us anyway. They helped me so much with what I was going through, helped me get more treatment for my injuries and are helping me to get my medical bills and treatments covered by the manufacturers in settlement.”

Women Join Together – Don’t Go It Alone!

“I have never had to get a lawyer for anything and really thought litigating wasn’t for me. But when I found out I had vaginal mesh in me that was never intended for my stress incontinence and that the manufacturers knew and had made billions of dollars selling it I was outraged. When I found out it could never be fixed I was devastated. No one was there to help me work through the Dr’s, medical treatments and maybe future corrective surgery like my lawyer. I never thought I’d be a person to have to pursue something like this but then again, I never thought I had everything taken from my- health, job, husband , freedom- life as I knew it.

Thank god there was help for me and there’s help for you too but you have to send back the paperwork. My lawyers have told me that women will be forced to forfeit their rights by the manufacturers soon and if you don’t get your paperwork in, you’ll lose rights forever to go after current injuries, future medical care and any compensation or help. As far as litigation, there is none with these cases for us. The lawyers settle based on our injuries but they are working to get us the most they can and many of these manufacturers are trying to settle with us for pennies on the dollar. That can’t happen and we need the strength of the law and each other to be a force that they don’t continue to disrespect us.

I mean what is a vagina worth? If there were hundreds of thousands of men out there with “units” that didn’t work, there would be rioting in the streets. why should this happen to women? Why should companies like Bard, Boston Scientific and Johnson and Johnson who market it women and were the biggest seller of this mesh, make money while we are disabled?

Please as a plead from one woman to another, Help yourself and Help all of us because the more people demanding they take responsibility, the more help and compensation we may be able to get because most of us have years and a lifetime of medical problems.”

In So Much Pain, I Lost My Job

“When I first saw the material on vaginal mesh, I thought it had to be a scam but as I researched it, I found out the scam is on us women. The manufacturers put this mesh in hundreds of thousands of women knowing it was defective and we could never be made whole again. My life has been in shambles. My husband left me because I couldn’t have perform wifely duties. I was in so much pain , I lost my job and insurance and my confidence. This is a crime against women what they have done to us. I’m sorry I hesitated about getting my paperwork in because now I know by helping me, I do help me but I also hope I help other women by sending this. They have to know, that unless we fight the manufacturers who did this to us by banning together and having a voice, we will be victimized a second time. All I can say, is please send in your paperwork and get a voice for you and all of us before it’s too late. You are ignorant if you don’t.”

— Sue, San Antonio Texas

My condition was so bad …

“I had extreme incontinence. If I walked, sneezed, coughed, laughed, or just moved quickly I wet myself. I am a school teacher so I am up and around a great deal. I went to see an urologist in 2010 and it was determined that the best course of action for me would be to have a bladder sling. This was done in December 2010. I had it done while on Christmas break.

I had the following problems and difficulties since my mesh operation: within 6 months of the surgery I began having the original symptoms again. It seemed as though this time they were much more extreme. I had cramping, extreme urges to urinate and seldom was able to leave the confined of buildings with a bathroom. I could be standing in from of my class and get tickled at something and would wet myself. Often I didn’t even have sufficient time to get to the bathroom. I lived with extra underwear and clothes with me at all times.

Here is how I am doing today, and what I’m facing: In September of this year I returned to the urologist. My condition was so bad that even my students kidded me about needing diapers. He did his exams and tested and found that the sling had failed in the center and that my bladder had literally fallen. There was no support whatsoever so my bladder was free to do whatever it wanted. HE explained to me that he had to redo several of the ones that he had done. We scheduled surgery for repair/replacement. I went in for surgery on 11/12/2014 for what should have been about an hour long procedure. I was in surgery almost 3 hours because he had to rebuild a support system for my bladder and then attach the mesh to hold it in place. I had to stay overnight in the hospital, missed 3 full days of work and am limited to very minimal activity for the next 6 weeks. I have 2 abdominal incisions which has increased my healing time. I hope that this time the issue is fixed so that no more surgeries need be done. My hospital bill alone was almost 12,000. Surgical fee was over 2,000. I am not made of money and insurance will not cover all of this!”

I feel like my insides are dropping to the ground

“Before I had my (first) mesh operation I was having the following problems: I would sneeze or cough and I would urinate on myself. I hurt all the time during intercourse and afterwards it felt like my bladder was about to fall out to where I had no desire for it. My bladder felt like is stayed full all the time, and it was just tender down there.

For about a month things seemed to be okay but the problem of hurting during intercourse started again and I feel like my insides just stay sore and I hate feeling. It leaks still and no matter how quickly I get to a restroom it always still feels full.

I’m facing not wanting intercourse ever again and my husband thinks it just me that I can’t hurt that much so sometimes I just go thru the pain and deal with it. I can’t sneeze or cough without urinating on myself and can’t run and play with my grandchildren because I feel like my insides are dropping to the ground. And I have so much pressure down there that it just hurts continual at times and I cannot sit for long periods of times. So it is making my life hell just about daily. My doctor says that my bladder has dropped again but I don’t want to go thru the loss of time off work, agony and the other conditions that come with it like it has been the past 2 times.

I AM NOT GETTING ANY BETTER JUST WORSE AND THIS MESH SURGERY WAS SUPPOSE TO TAKE CARE OF MY PROBLEM, BUT IT JUST CREATING MORE IN MY LIFE TO WHERE I DON’T HAVE A LIFE….”

I have to accept the fact that my incontinence is a lot worse!

“I can say that the only problem that I was having before the mesh operation was some incontinence, but not so much that it was unbearable. Today I have to accept the fact that my incontinence is a lot worse than what it was before the surgery.

Since my operation I started having many UTI infections, as many as 8 or more a year. I started seeing a urologist in February of 2013. I have tired low-dose antibiotics, vaginal cream, and still they seem to come back. I visit the urologist about every 3-4 months and UTI still in my life. Incontinence is always a huge concern! Sex has been very hard to enjoy since my operation it is hardly not a part of my life anymore. The pain is not worth the enjoyment any more.

Since my operation question number 2 sums up pretty much of my daily life. I will live all my life with more problems than before my operation. If I had to do it again, I would not have the operation at all. I feel pretty disgusted with the final outcome of my operation because if I would have known better I would have not had it, and do not recommend it to any other women.”

Within weeks of the procedure I began having some pain

I was having trouble with my bladder leakage. Could not cough, laugh, jump, etc without urinating on myself. I was told this procedure would fix it. I was not told that the mesh was being used or anything specific about the procedure.

Within weeks of the procedure I began having some pain, when I went back for my post-op examine I questioned and informed the Dr. of this pain. He said everything looked fine and I was healing. When becoming intimate with my husband after healing I experienced pain and discomfort. This happened EVERY time we tried to be intimate. The situation made me sick to my stomach so I returned to the Dr. explaining again of my pain during intimacy. He said this was not a result of surgery so I tried several more times, with same painful results. I decided that it was NOT worth the discomfort and pain so I refrained from having physical intimacy with my husband from that point on. Needless to say, it has been hard on our relationship, his feeling of inadequacy and inability to fulfill me sexually added to marital pressures. For me, I became hardened, if that makes sense…and from that point on, our sexual relationship has been totally one sided….meaning he was the only one receiving pleasure from our sexual relationship. I began and am still being treated for depression. I feel this one of the factors for my depression. I also began to spend money feeling I deserved some type of compensation for my inability to be sexually satisfied…which lead me to buy my satisfaction, which lead to indebtedness and more marital problems.

My sister called me when she heard about the mesh problems and knowing the issues I have had for several years, so I went to see my general doctor and asked her. After an examine, she said that what she felt was not normal so I went to Urology specialist who said my mesh was not properly in place and we made the decision to have the mesh removed. I currently have to wait 6 months before anything else can be done…so I am full circle, back to where I started….urinary incontinence. I feel like I always smell urine and have to wear pads. I have not tried to become sexual again yet, I am apprehensive, but I plan to try again very soon.

Well I spoke too soon – I started having problems with pains in my lower abdominal area

I would often not make it to the bathroom in time, because of this problem it led me to wear a pad 24/7. As a result on wearing a pad I would get UTI’s. Wearing a pad was not an option. After several years of treatment with Dr. Mark Borowsky, M.D. who works in Oncology, I asked about the Trans vaginal Mesh. He recommended a doctor for me. After checking with my Insurance at the time (Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Delaware) about the referral, they told me that the doctor I was to was on my plan. I thought, at last, I could get some help. I was so happy and got so emotional about it I was crying. Thank god I could get help. After several appointments of test and questions with Dr. Howard Goldstein DO, MPH and he explained what was going to happen and what was going to be used, I said yes. So it happened, a surgery date had been selected. I drove home once again, crying. In less than a month, I could throw away the pads that had become part of my everyday life for years.

Everything was fine for quite a while after the mesh surgery, one of my girlfriends ask me if I was having any problems with it because of the commercials she was seeing on TV about the trouble others were having with it and the law suit that was going on. I said I was fine. Well I spoke too soon. I started having problems with pains in my lower abdominal area. It started out as just slight discomfort at first. And then every so often sharp pains would double me over at times. It would happen at any time and in any position I may have been in. And things down there felt tighter than they had been. (Hope you get what I mean). And things that happened between a man and woman in the bedroom normally changed for me and my husband.

I no longer have insurance to get this problem fixed. I have more pain in my lower abdominal area. The sharp pains happen more often. Sex with my husband of 39 years is non existing, it’s been a few years. It hurts me so bad I just don’t have the desire to even think about it. And I try to avoid him at every cost. I will let him fall asleep on the couch, just so I can go to bed and fall asleep before he wakes up. I would just prefer he not bother me. It also keeps us from going on vacations together or just small weekend joints together. I’m surprised he hasn’t found it elsewhere by now, or has he?, I don’t want to know. Still, back to crying

After the surgery I developed interstitial cystitis

Prior to the surgery I had uterine prolapse. There was some discomfort as a result.

After the surgery I developed interstitial cystitis. This meant far more frequent need to urinate, accompanied by extreme pain at times – prior to and during urination.

After the mesh was removed, I realized that I had much more energy. This led to believe that something was not right while the mesh was in place. I am significantly healthier/happier now. However, the pain from the interstitial cystitis remains. I suffer from incontinence. Both of these issues impact on my quality of life: I cannot travel comfortably – I often need to urinate several times in one hour. Our family and friends have a big house in the Outer Banks in August, and having to go back to the house to use the restroom is embarrassing; so I have taken to just staying at the house and not going to the beach with everyone else. Going shopping is difficult for the same reasons. I take my granddaughters to their soccer practices and games. This means that I have to use the port-a-johns at the soccer fields. This is embarrassing, and the facilities are often disgusting. I volunteer for the Virginia State Bar and at my granddaughter’s school clinic. Again, having to leave meetings/stop whatever I am doing to use the restroom is embarrassing. Yes, I can wear Depends; but, again, embarrassing, mildly disgusting, and, after years of not soiling myself rather difficult.

Other than these issues I am an exceedingly healthy and busy person. I take Elmirom, Oxybutynin, and Amitriptyline daily for bladder issues. The only other medication I take is Fosamax and vitamin D.

I’m Horrible – I must wear pads all the time because I never know when I awaken or stand if I can make it to the bathroom.

I was having the following problems: Prolapsed uterus and bladder. Frequent urination, bladder infections, and minor leakage.

I have had the following problems and difficulties since my mesh operation: INCREASED frequent urination, continuous bladder infections, constant leakage, the need for thick bladder control pads 7x24x365, inability to hold urine once I wake up or stand, increased nighttime urination, chafing from pads, peeing myself, hard to control pee smell.

Here is how I am doing today, and what I am facing:

• Horrible. I must wear pads all the time because I never know when I awaken or stand if I can make it to the bathroom.
• At least once every two-three days I don’t make it and pee all over myself.
• I wear 4-8 pads a day.
• I no longer have sex with my husband because it is a bit hard to get in the mood when he reaches for me, and first I have to slip into the bathroom, take off my peed pad, clean away the pee smell, and then worry about peeing my during intercourse. Sooo sexy…NOT!
• I get up 4-6 times a night to urinate.
• I have bladder infections frequently – but no insurance – so I basically live with it until I can’t stand it anymore.
• Hate walking around feeling like I have a wet mattress between my legs.
• Hate the smell when I change the pads.
• Always feel like I need a shower.
• When I had insurance, I tried several drugs for incontinence, and NONE worked.
• Spend a small fortune on incontinence pads.
• Embarrassed when I have to buy the pads.
• Angry when I think about living like this the rest of my life.
• Angry that sex with my husband is no longer.
• Angry that every place I go, the first thing I look for is the restroom.
• Angry that I have to carry pee pads everywhere I go.
• Angry that I no longer can sleep for any substantial period without consequences i.e.: peeing myself, having to wake my husband to change the sheets in the middle of the night
• Angry that I stress all the time about peeing myself.

What I am facing? More of the same horrible, dirty, uncomfortable, expensive, messy, unfair, embarrassing, smelly crap as listed above.

I still have a lot of pain and feel like the mesh is starting to come out again

I was having problems with a lot of bladder leakage. So after talking to the doctor we decided that the bladder mesh would take care of my problem. Boy was I wrong, first couple of weeks was great but then I started to leak again, this time it was more than before. I also started to have a lot of pain in my lower stomach and vaginal area. Well I went back to the doctor and had a second surgery to remove part of the mesh because it was hanging out of me and had been for several months. So that surgery was done right in the doctor office. Something I will never do again the pain was unbearable and all the doctor would say is that it did not hurt like I was telling him. Then I had a third surgery to have the mesh put back in to fix my bladder leakage this one was done in the hospital. Little did I know that it would not work again I still have a lot of pain and feel like the mesh is starting to come out again. So no I’m left with wearing depends like a baby because I still after three surgeries have a great amount of leakage. The pain is unbearable during sex with my husband that it’s not an option for us anymore. I have to shower 2-3 times a day and still have a light odor of urine because I cannot control the leakage. I do not like to go anywhere because I always hurt and I am afraid of leaking through even the Depends that I now have to buy and wear.

She hurts all the time and there is nothing I can do to help her.

I would just like you to know that my wife used to be a loving mother, grandmother, and wife. But since all this happened to her I have watched her become very withdrawn from not only me but the rest of her family. She hurts all the time and there is nothing I can do to help her. Most days she is so depressed that she does not what me or anybody around her. She used to be such a strong person so full of life, but all the pain and everything she goes thru from this everyday has taken a toll on her. She told me life is not worth living because she cannot be a wife and a loving partner any more. And I just want my wife back.